Andi Dorfman was searching for love in all of the incorrect locations — like on nationwide tv.
Dorfman pulled off a actuality present coup, showing first on “The Bachelor” after which on “The Bachelorette.” Whereas every featured loads of manufactured drama, Dorfman delivered a lot on her personal.
Having intercourse with two finalists tends to do this.
Dorfman wound up engaged to one in every of them. It lasted seven months and produced her first e book, the best-selling “It’s Not Okay.” Her newest effort, “Single State of Thoughts,” arrives Tuesday.
She’s nonetheless searching for love, though by now she’s narrowed her search to the lads of New York, a metropolis full with its personal problems.
Dorfman shares (or over-shares) all of it, as she finds an condo within the West Village, darkens her wardrobe to Manhattan’s all-season black, develops a brand new group of girlfriends and plunges into the relationship pool.
A lot has been made — after an excerpt ran in — about her resolution to freeze her eggs. At 30, with no true contender for a father of future youngsters in sight, it’s hardly a shock.
Way more revealing are her accounts of boozy nights in town. It’s a nightlife scene the place golf equipment are “full of thirsty ladies. You already know the kind, those with our bodies made for swimsuit adverts, faces made for radio, and shamelessness made for intercourse tapes.”
One night, after many hours of ingesting, she leaves the membership with a cute man. Quickly they’re in a resort room, rolling across the mattress in varied states of undress. When he popped the query, it wasn’t the one she anticipated.
He requested her charges.
Dorfman grabbed her garments and fled.
“It was the primary time I’d ever felt dirtier than the dirty leather-based seat of a yellow cab,” she says. As her taxi sped away, “I gazed out the window as one phrase flooded my thoughts. Hooker! He thought I used to be a f—ing hooker!”
Removed from working within the oldest occupation, Dorfman inhabits one of many latest and strangest — that of an immediate movie star, making a residing “attending occasions that I actually don’t have any enterprise attending, and getting paid to put up on social media.”
And he or she’s parlayed that fame into the books.
It wasn’t like Dorfman didn’t have a life earlier than the single-rose ceremonies.
An assistant district lawyer in Fulton County, Ga., Dorfman first left Atlanta to change into one of many many vying for the bachelor’s consideration. She stop mid-season and returned to work.
Later, she stop the regulation and starred on her personal season of “The Bachelorette.”
The brand new e book begins with Dorfman leaving her household in Atlanta for a transfer to New York Metropolis. She wanted to search out an condo, and like everybody else who strikes to New York, skilled the impolite awakening of how a lot it prices to get so little.
Like so many star actuality present celebrities, she has a cheerful tendency to reside out loud and in public. Dorfman’s e book is in regards to the quest for love, and he or she takes readers via it — one awful date with a scorching new man after the following.
Amongst her conquests are three skilled athletes, though right here she reveals a little bit discretion. She mentions one man’s crew — the Yankees — however doesn’t identify names. A muscular athlete with a spectacular condo? That doesn’t slim it down a lot.
After relationship for a bit, the duo engaged in a texting tiff that signaled the underside of the ninth for his or her romance.
The topic: whether or not he would choose Dorfman up on the bar the place she was, as she most well-liked, or if he would ship a automobile for her, as he wished.
She additionally fell laborious for one more unidentified baseball participant in Seattle who unceremoniously dumped her, saying he didn’t wish to be in a relationship.
It in all probability would have harm much less if his subsequent girlfriend didn’t instantly transfer in.
And there was the Canadian hockey participant, finishing her hat trick of failed relationships. Dorfman makes a world booty name, nevertheless it seems his solely aim is intercourse.
Other than that, he’s chilly as ice.
So why put up with these guys? She is genuinely searching for the fitting man and is aware of that begins with a primary date.
“Way back, in my early twenties, I didn’t thoughts dates a lot as a result of they meant a free meal,” she confesses.
Dorfman confesses to struggling via just a few painful Friday nights prior to now for a “a complimentary buzz and a juicy medium-rare steak.”
However issues change. Maybe, she wonders, it’s the 26 first dates she endured on nationwide tv. Or perhaps her improved funds.
No matter it’s, she’s now as keen on date No. 1 as she is of a root canal.
Think about this painful meet-up: The man who’s significantly late, drunk and coked up, then flirts with the bartender, ignoring her.
Different adventures have been extra concerned — like this one.
Dorfman accepts a visit to the Kentucky Derby, the place she and a pal get wasted. She meets a pair who reside part-time in New York. Seems they need a ménage à trois, which she discovers after accepting a journey on their non-public jet.
She’s texting together with her buddy, who Googles the couple and says the lady is a Hollywood madam who “sells ladies as intercourse slaves to wealthy millionaires.”
It’s not clear precisely how she makes it dwelling unscathed however Dorfman concedes she now understands why her mom warned her towards taking rides from strangers.
Extra self-aware than many actuality contestants, Dorfman realizes some individuals sneer at them.
She sneers proper again.
These reveals get her invited to events, the place the paparazzi snap her photograph. She’s outraged when individuals snub her, just like the Trend Week publicists who received’t give her a free ticket as a result of “we don’t actually do actuality tv stars.”
“Who do you suppose is shopping for your s—?” Dorfman counters. “Individuals who watch actuality tv.”
She then went on a tear and ditched all of her Olivia James attire, although she favored them. Though Dorfman was invited to different reveals, she later admits that Trend Week isn’t all it’s cracked as much as be.
Nonetheless, strolling varied pink carpets, even Dorfman wonders what precisely she’s well-known for.
“I’ve gotten so used to this it form of freaks me out, like, who the hell am I, and why am I nonetheless related sufficient to be strolling a pink carpet?” she asks. “I shouldn’t query it, although, as a result of in the end, everybody goes to catch on.”
She works laborious at changing into a New Yorker (although somebody ought to warn her that crying on the subway isn’t one thing powerful metropolis girls do).
Dorfman embraces New York wholeheartedly and is so decided to reside her model of Carrie Bradshaw’s life that she even thanks New York in her acknowledgments.
Her love of town is obvious from the start. How many individuals undergo LaGuardia Airport “almost skipping,” as she describes her arrival?
Dorfman continued to adore it regardless of a primary whiff of New York that smelled “a tad like rubbish, with a touch of urine and perhaps a be aware or two of sewage.”
Dorfman retains trying to find love till she has her Dorothy-from-Kansas second — and realizes what she was searching for is one thing she had all alongside.